Haha, we had nearly exactly similar comments on Nathan Bransford's blog (and at the same time, too). I think we were both trying to say: SHORELINE had serious promise, but fix the query construction, lol.
And I really like this. There's a very compelling character in Loril.
Yeah, i laughed when I saw your response. We must be on the same psychic wavelength! I saw a few thorny things about SHORELINE's premise (Persephone doesn't seem relevant enough in the existing mythology to pull her in, but maybe the author makes it work), but I probably would read it anyway. But since the contest asks us to think like an agent, I think you gotta go for the clearest, most gripping query.
I hope you don't mind if I check out your blog! Looks like you're at the query stage, too? It's brutal!
Oh yeah, please check out my blog. That's what it's there for. Yep, I'm querying. Sorta. I sent out about 7, got no bites, so I'm reworking the silly thing before I try again. (And the rework was much needed, I think.)
I think I'm on my 6th query draft, which has gotten me two full requests–before that it was almost entirely form rejections. Hopefully that's a sign that I'm done revising. It's so hard to get it right! I'll take a look at the one you've posted, see if I have any suggestions. I must say, though, that I totally dig the idea of Ares as a suburban dad!
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"Gat", he said, cocking the word as he would the object that also bore that name.
You can have that one for free.
Thanks, Pat. Thanks bunches.
Haha, we had nearly exactly similar comments on Nathan Bransford's blog (and at the same time, too). I think we were both trying to say: SHORELINE had serious promise, but fix the query construction, lol.
And I really like this. There's a very compelling character in Loril.
Hey Jaimie! Thanks–I'm glad you like him.
Yeah, i laughed when I saw your response. We must be on the same psychic wavelength! I saw a few thorny things about SHORELINE's premise (Persephone doesn't seem relevant enough in the existing mythology to pull her in, but maybe the author makes it work), but I probably would read it anyway. But since the contest asks us to think like an agent, I think you gotta go for the clearest, most gripping query.
I hope you don't mind if I check out your blog! Looks like you're at the query stage, too? It's brutal!
Oh yeah, please check out my blog. That's what it's there for. Yep, I'm querying. Sorta. I sent out about 7, got no bites, so I'm reworking the silly thing before I try again. (And the rework was much needed, I think.)
I think I'm on my 6th query draft, which has gotten me two full requests–before that it was almost entirely form rejections. Hopefully that's a sign that I'm done revising. It's so hard to get it right! I'll take a look at the one you've posted, see if I have any suggestions. I must say, though, that I totally dig the idea of Ares as a suburban dad!
Thank you so much for your suggestions!