Teaser Tuesday: Insert Joke about Wetness HERE
I’m getting close to the end of my first draft of SEAS RUN DRY. I’m a little unsure as to how to proceed from here with teasers–there’s a lot of material I could share that would be dangerously spoileriffic. I might start teasing other projects, or maybe a trunked short story or two (any preferences, Gentle Readers?). This week, though, we’re good. This week I’m going to give you some pure, unadulterated, merman ish.
(Teaser removed)
Phoebe
Phoebe is a 20-something writer who lives in New York State with her husband and cat. She is a dork, not a geek or a nerd.
Her debut novel, Starglass, will be released from Simon and Schuster Books for Young Readers in Summer 2013.
17 comments
I can't believe I'm enjoying your teasers about mermaids. Maybe it's cos of your sublime prose. Yeah, must be that.
Ha! Thanks Akin. Sometimes I still can't believe that I enjoy writing them.
(I've come a long way since I wanted to be the next be seeeerious poet!)
When I write, it's very little description, almost like an art movie. What the characters say and do is really thought-out, meticulously so, so I think it works. However, it's not immersive because the reader has to work. That said, I think the kind of description you have here (and in your other pieces) is powerful. You put us right into her head, and I'm not annoyed by it. With so many writers, I get annoyed really fast when stuff lingers. I'm not sure why it works so well for you — you have good pacing, and a good sense of what is necessary and what isn't. Also I genuinely want to know what happens. I have no idea. That's key too.
you have such a talent for description…once again, you've painted such a vivid scene that I can't help but be drawn in. great tease!
GREAT scene! The descriptions are just right, and it feels bittersweet – the two of them together are cute, but you can tell that both are torn about it. And I wonder what's happening to him at the end. Is he just blushing, or having some kind of reaction? Curious…
Ah, lovely descriptions. I've never read anything about mermaids before and this really pulled me in. I know what you mean about not wanting to give away too much – I'm the same way. Great tease!
Okay, first to address Ellen, with a warning: the following contains information you probably DO NOT want to know about dolphins. But my mermaids are dolphin-like, more than fish-like, and I've done my best to give them a fairly well developed physiology. Dolphins turn pink in the belly when they're turned on. I allude to this earlier in the book, in a section that I haven't teased (because it's spoilerish). So basically . . . he's turned on. In not so many words, and in a way that makes clear his not-humanness (and I'm fine if that's all that people get out of it) and is hopefully a little more tasteful than talking about sex in an explicit way.
And really, you do not want to know how I've had to research to find that out about dolphins. Ick.
Sorry if that was gross.
Anyway, thank you for all the kind words. @jaimie–you're right, it's a delicate balance. My teaser sections tend to be edited slightly, and they're almost always pruned a bit, too. Lush description can be a bit habit-forming, and sometimes I know I edge into overwriting. I wish I could be sparser! Grass is always greener, I guess.
How sick is it that I totally got the dolphin reference? I blame it on that King of the Hill episode where Hank's swim with a dolphin takes a disturbing turn . . .
But otherwise, such a nice balance of description and tension between the characters!
I vote teasers from trunked stories, I'm always curious about why people decided to trunk them, and what they see when they look at them years later.
Angelica, that honestly makes me feel so much better. I'd forgotten about that King of the Hill ep!
Maybe I'll do the trunked stories thing. I'm almost tempted to tease a trunked novel–one that I queried, and then gave up on. But teasing it feels almost like admitting I'm never moving forward with it.
Wow! This is brilliantly written and I felt like was swimming right along with them. Awesome teaser!
Thanks Joann!
OMG. This is a first draft??? *is jealous*
Wow. I loved this. All hot and steamy at first, and then beautiful and breathtaking in the next second. Your descriptions, your prose is brilliant.
I especially love the last line.
Great tease.
I LOVE the dolphin thing.
"pine-dark seaweed" Corniest literary allusion EVAR, Phoebe.
Eh? I had no idea it was an allusion. Covergent author evolution, I swear.
I adore the descriptions – so powerful!
Gosh, I felt that, like I was right there in the water with them. Your descriptions are perfect.